Yikes, how in the world is it the end of June? My diet was supposed to start in January. I can’t believe that I’m in the same place as I was last year… Ugh! That bikini will have to wait for another year. If you are muttering these thoughts (like many of us are right now), grab a big glass of ice water and keep reading as Fitness Expert and Owner of KO Workouts & Wellness, Kara O’Connor, offers advice to help you take control of your health today. (Not starting on Monday – TODAY!) Kara gets candid on how to get back on track – even if you are starting over for the hundredth time (like me). Kara provides eight reasons why we are constantly giving up so you can become aware of what you are doing and break the cycle.
Why do I keep on giving up on my diet and fitness goals?
Ok, here we go again, right? We all know that quitting won’t get us closer to our goal, yet we constantly do it. Why in the heck do I keep doing this to myself? We all want to take control of our health so we can feel and look better, yet we throw in the towel after a few days or weeks. It is frustrating to say the least. How in the world can we finally commit for good so we can get the results we want?
Certified Personal Trainer, Kara O’Connor is here to help you move past the stop button. How exactly do we stop quitting on ourselves? “Awareness is key,” says Kara. “Pay attention to why you are giving up on yourself. If you are mindful of the reasons why you continue to hit pause you are better positioned to take control of your health. You also become better equipped to work through challenges as they arise – which you know they will because that’s life.” The path to our goals is not straight. It is windy, bumpy, imperfect but beautiful.
8 reasons why we give up
Before we dive into how to restart and get back on track, here are the 8 main reason why Kara says people give up on their health and fitness goals. Remember, awareness is key. Which one of these resonates with you?
1. We go on a “DIET”
“Eliminate the word “DIET” from your vocabulary. You are not going on a diet; you are changing your lifestyle. A diet is temporary. It will not do much for you. You must focus on the fact that you are simply choosing a healthier lifestyle. Diets do not work. You can always fall off a diet. You are less likely to toss your healthy lifestyle out the window.”
2. Setting unrealistic expectations
“Expecting to lose 5-10 pounds in a week is not typically realistic. Six-pack abs in a month is typically not realistic. Losing 1-2 pounds a week is realistic. Be careful of comparing your weight loss and physique to others – especially those who have time to solely focus on health and exercise like the contestants on “The Biggest Loser.” Most women have family, work, and life commitments that fill up most hours of the day. Taking control over your health is a journey. It will not happen in one day. Take a deep breath, know that this is a process. Back away from the scale. Weigh yourself once a week and move on.”
3. Changing too much at once
“Work on mastering one habit or new healthy behavior every couple of weeks. Trying to overhaul years of eating in one day will be completely overwhelming.” Running three miles after being a total couch potato for the last month will leave you sore and warding off movement for days. “Keep things simple in the beginning to keep your head from spinning and to keep you from becoming paralyzed by trying to do too much too quickly.”
4. Using food as a reward
Put down the milkshake as a reward for meeting your fitness goals. “If a cheat meal or treat is important to you, that is fine, but it can’t be a reward. Enjoy the treat but understand that it is simply a meal and something that you have planned. Build it in to your meal plan for the week. The bacon double cheeseburger is not a reward for losing 5 pounds. Instead of eating, do something nice for yourself. Go buy a new shirt or a book that you have been wanting to read. Treat yourself to something special but to take control of your health, nix the food rewards.”
5. Lack of support
If your spouse has the metabolism of a hummingbird (yes, they are the animal with the fastest metabolism) or just isn’t into upping his fitness and health goals, it makes things tougher. Maybe your spouse is a social butterfly (like mine) and loves going out for dinner and drinks with friends. Not having a support system makes it more difficult to take control of your health. “You need to find someone to support you. This could be a friend who is your workout buddy. It could be a fitness coach. It just needs to be someone. Have someone in your life that can help hold you accountable to your goals. Why? Because it is much easier to let ourselves down than our friends or spouse who is ready for a night of nachos and beer.” You need a cheerleader who is doing cartwheels when you pass on fried pickles and opt for the salad (dressing on the side). This support is critical.
Furthermore, you need to remember that food and drinks do not make you fun. Your personality is what everyone loves. While you may get a little flack at first for not sharing in the margarita pitcher, your friends will soon get over it. If they don’t, it may be time to take a closer look at those in your inner circle.
6. Focusing on Perfection
“Your eating and exercise will not be perfect every day. Slip-ups will happen. You will fall off the wagon occasionally. Take a deep breath, it’s part of the process. In the beginning, these slip-ups will happen more often. However, after a few weeks of developing good habits, your food and exercise will become part of your regular routine. It will become easier.” Taking control over your health isn’t all or nothing. Focusing on perfection can hurt you more than it can help you. Take it one day at a time and keep moving forward.
7. Skipping meals
“Somehow so many women think skipping meals will put them ahead. Not the case! The opposite is actually true. Skipping meals puts your body into starvation mode. In starvation mode, you aren’t getting the nutrients your body needs and then your body begins to panic. The alarm bells start going off because your body doesn’t know when it will receive the proper nourishment. Be mindful and conscious of this. Eat small meals throughout the day to keep your metabolism up. This will help you take control of your health. You will reach your ideal weight. In addition, you will be happier and energized.”
8. Emotional eating
“This is a big one and it leads to obesity. You should enjoy your food, but the only reason you should ever eat is because you are hungry. Grabbing a handful of chips because you feel like something salty or reaching for candy because you are stressed out will wreck your efforts to take control of your health. Had a bad day at work? Go for a walk, write in your journal or watch a movie. Whatever it is, put down the food. You must recognize why you are eating. Is it because you are bored or genuinely hungry? Having access to food 24 hours a day definitely makes this harder. Put boundaries around when and how you eat. If you have children, you don’t let them snack all day. Hold yourselves to the same rules.”
Restarting again… How to get back on track? 
Now that we understand the reasons why we have been giving up, it’s time to get back on track. The question remains, just exactly how do we do this? It seems so daunting and almost impossible. Kara O’Connor recommends starting slowly.
“Begin with one new habit or behavior goal and work on that new behavior until you master it.” After each behavior goal is mastered (and only when it is mastered) should you add another one to the mix. Remember that it takes about 21 days for a behavior to become a habit and second nature.
Behavior goals could be:
- Drinking more water
- Exercising / Getting some sort of movement in
- Eating more fruits and veggies
- Adding in more lean proteins
- Meal prepping
Focus on behavior goals – NOT outcome goals
“The secret is to focus on the behavior goals, NOT the outcome goals. We do not have complete control over our bodies and losing weight. The scale is simply a data measurement. You can’t force it to go down. Setting behavior goals allows you to take control over what you can. Each goal should be measurable and realistic. Don’t set yourself up for failure with lofty outcome goals like ‘I want to lose 10 pounds in three weeks.’ Again, focus on making good choices each day to take control of your health and the results will follow.”
Focus on adding new habits
Notice Kara said adding new habits…. “The secret is focusing on the positive side of a goal instead of the negative side. If your goal is to drink 60-80 ounces of water a day, focus on adding that to your day. Don’t focus your attention on the negative side and the things you are taking away.”
Let’s move
If your goal is to get in more movement, go out for a walk. Start somewhere. A gym membership and state of the art equipment are not required, just get moving. There are a lot of great free on-line workouts right now. If you need more motivation, check out Kara’s jump start exercise circuit at the end of this article. If you want customized workouts and nutrition plans or are interested in group fitness classes, check out KO Workouts and Wellness (Kara’s Facebook page) or email her at karaoconnorwell@gmail.com.
Misconception of daunting meal prep
Meal prepping doesn’t mean an entire Sunday spent in the kitchen. “That fact that women think meal prepping has to be a huge time commitment and undertaking is a complete misconception. There are 
many ways you can meal prep. Don’t let this intimidate you from starting. Begin by simply planning out your food each week and what you will be eating. Keep things simple (unless you love making elaborate recipes).” Then look for healthy food swaps you can make. If it’s spaghetti night, add a salad and swap your noodles for spaghetti squash. Taco Tuesday dinner, not a problem. Ditch those taco shells and swap for a lettuce wrap. Veggie swaps are a great way to take control of your health.
Now, if you are working crazy hours and then rushing off to sports practices, like many Mammas out there, cooking in advance and having food ready to eat the second you walk in the door is critical. Do what works for you and don’t forget to throw a bag of raw veggies and a few pieces of fruit into your handbag before you rush out the door. The key here is to have a plan. As we all know “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” And, having a plan makes grocery shopping much easier and efficient.
Nutrition is key
“Add in more lean proteins, fruits and veggies. Put your mind to focusing on your nutrition for the next 21 days. Make the commitment to yourself. Take it one day at a time. If your nutrition is on point and you’re exercising, your clothes will feel better after three weeks and you will likely see the number on the scale decrease.”
If you need a sugar fix, reach for the fruit bowl. “Steer away from processed food or anything that comes in a box as it is filled with preservatives. Eat whole and real food.”
Don’t quit
Eliminate the option of giving up for the next three weeks. If you’ve had a bad day, make sure the next one is better. “The biggest struggle my clients face is sticking to a plan and trying to juggle everything. Please just give yourself 21 days to develop a habit. So often we give up after a week of hard work when the scale doesn’t move. Don’t! Stop giving up on yourself right now. You’re likely on the brink of really amazing changes happening.”
Yes, it’s tough
“Pushing past the first week is hard. No doubt about it. You’re revamping all your bad eating habits and forcing yourself out of your comfort zone. It will be challenging. Embrace the challenge. After the third week, it does get easier. Promise me that you will get to day 22…Promise yourself.”
Pencil yourself in
“If you aren’t taking time to care for yourself, how are you able to really take care of anybody else? When you take control of your health, your waistline benefits but so does your mental health and clarity. When you’re eating well and moving, you’re able to better focus and have more mental clarity than if you were sitting around eating junk food all day.” Give yourself the time to take control of your health. Schedule it out. Put yourself on your very busy calendar.
It just feels so impossible… I don’t believe I can actually change…
“Put in the work and results will come. If you take control of your health, the results will follow. You will not remain the same. Remember, there is no one giant step that does it. It’s all the little steps. If you are doing all the little steps, the positive changes will happen. It is guaranteed. If you have 2 steps back one day, the next day may be 5 steps forward. It is an ebb and flow. It will happen. Don’t get overwhelmed by doing all of the things in the beginning. You can’t do all of the things in the beginning… take this one day at a time and work through the next 21 days until you are taking control of your health becomes a habit.”
Give yourself the time before you give up. Keep pushing on. “Find that person who will be your support. Do it together. Mindset and our brains can do things to our motivation in a negative way. Stop making negotiations with your brain. If your brain were in charge, we would talk ourselves out of everything that is challenging or seems to be too difficult. Push past your brain and your thoughts because they can often NOT be a positive source for us. Don’t give yourself the option to quit. Stop thinking – start doing. Just go!” Take control of your health right this second.
I’ll start on Monday
“Everyone is always ready to start on a Monday… Why can’t you start on a Wednesday or Friday? This is silly and you know that delaying your start time will only take you that much longer to reach your goals. JUST START. JUST GO. It doesn’t matter what day it is. Choose discipline over motivation. No one is going to be motivated all the time. You must be conscious of that. Make yourself go through the motions for a few weeks to develop the habits you need to be successful. From there, eating better and exercising will become second nature. Remember, there is no better time than right now to get back on track.” Don’t wait until Monday, why wait? You deserve this. Take control of your health starting right now.
But I love baking
“Ahhh! Everyone is baking and I am screaming… STOP! Put down the mixer and that icing! There are other things you can do besides baking. Moderation is key, but if you are baking a beautiful cake with your children and then eating it in 4 days, we must look at our actions, motivations and goals. Remember that there are other ways to challenge ourselves and bond with our children out of the kitchen. Go for a hike instead.” Take your kids on a bike ride and pack a picnic lunch. Paint rocks, plant a garden or read a book (not a cookbook!). Do something active. Try paddle boarding or kayaking. Change up your mindset. Hit pause on those Facebook baking and cooking feeds.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it’s time to take control of your health and stop giving up on yourself. Remember that awareness is key. Pay attention to the reasons you are constantly throwing in the towel on your fitness aspirations. Set realistic expectations and make small improvements each week. Eliminate the word “diet” from your vocabulary and focus on moving forward each day – not perfection. Stop skipping meals and find an accountability buddy or coach to help you work toward your goals. Getting back on track is daunting but take it one step at a time. Focus on behavior goals and what you can control. Remember that this is a journey and your results will be determined by hundreds of small choices. Finally, just start…. today… not Monday!
About Kara O’Connor
Kara O’Connor is a NSPA Certified Personal Trainer / AFAA Group Exercise Instructor. Kara is a Precision Nutrition Certified Coach. She specializes in working with busy women who are juggling career, family and simply life. Kara helps her clients reclaim their bodies, feel sexy and confident again. She offers accountability, support, expertise and delivers results. She helps women find themselves again so they can live their best lives. Kara is also an OOLA Life Coach and a Young Living Essentials oils Educator. She has a B.S. in Kinesiology (concentrating in Exercise Leadership) from James Madison University. You can learn more at her website.
Kara’s jump start exercise circuit
If you don’t know that to do first. Grab a glass of water and start here with Kara’s exercise circuit. This circuit is 40 seconds of work for each exercise with 20 seconds to rest between each exercise. Repeat the circuit 3-5 times. You’ll be surprised how great you feel and how sweaty you are. Now, get to work!
- Jog in place
- Body weight squats
- Push-ups
- Jumping jacks
- Alternating lunges
- Plank hold
Your body weight will work great for these exercises. But remember to keep challenging yourself. Add 5lb and 8lb dumbbells to keep working harder. A yoga mat is always a good idea for the floor exercises. If you still need more inspiration, Kara recommends the following books ‘Live it, Not Diet’ by Mike Sheridan, ‘Deep Nutrition’ by Catherine Shanahan, M.D. and ‘Atomic Habits‘ by James Clear.
Thanks so much for reading this interview!
Hugs and Handshakes,
Lauren
P.S. Don’t forget to check out the interview with Wendy Merrill on How to Make an Impact and be Happier in Life.
P.P.S. (This post contains affiliate Amazon links.)
