A New Year’s resolution that you must add to your list is “Choosing Happy Over Perfect.”
Wendy Elover, Loan Officer with Academy Mortgage and Author of “My Cape is At The Cleaners Choosing Happy Over Perfect” shares why this is so important and how to make it happen in our busy lives.
Learn how Wendy wrote this book while driving in the car and 7 ways to choose happy over perfect.
Why Wendy decided to be so vulnerable and share in her book
I don’t have the right to tell anybody what to do with their life. I don’t know their world or what they are going through every day. But I thought, if I was willing to be vulnerable and share what I have gone through and what my journey has looked like, maybe it would resonate with someone and give them glimmer of hope that they too could make it through a tough time. That was my hope anyway. Or, worse case scenario, they could at least say, “Geeze, compared to Wendy, I am doing ok!”
“We have all been told that we can have it all. This is my story about figuring out how to be happy instead of perfect.”
It was a message for my daughters
The book for me is really my message to my daughters. I have three daughters. Twins who are 14 and a 21-year-old daughter. I don’t want them to wait until they are 50 years old to figure some of this stuff out that I have just figured out over the last few years.
Do you listen to your mother? Of course not!
The thought was, Do you listen to your mother, of course not! But maybe if it was in a book they will pick it up and check something out. Hopefully they will refer back to it when life gets tough.
I almost didn’t hit publish
I wrote the entire book, talking about choosing happy over perfect, and the only thing that I had left to do was hit publish. But I literally woke up in the middle of the night and thought “What was I thinking! I can’t publish this.”
The reality is, “My Cape Is At The Cleaners Choosing Happy Over Perfect” is about every time I failed in my life and how I got through to the next failure.”
And then I thought, oh my gosh, I wonder if my friends are still going to be my friends after they read my story and see behind the scenes – learning new things about me, this person that they have known for so long…
I thought about putting a note on social media that said: “due to unforeseen circumstances the book would not be out.” But, I went back to why I was writing this book. And it was for my girls. For a year, they watched me work on this book, edit the book, and ask them questions about the book. So, if suddenly I said that it was “too hard, too scary and I am not doing it anymore”- what kind of credibility would I have for the rest of my life to encourage them to take risks, chances and step out of their comfort zone? And that was the moment that I knew I didn’t have a choice. I told everyone that I was writing this book – including myself. And It is being published.
I wrote my book while driving
I speak for a living, I’m not a writer. Looking at a blank page and having to write something terrified me.
While it took a year, I TALKED my book about choosing happy over perfect while in the car. I opened a google document and hit the audio button on my phone and just started talking while I was driving. As I was talking and driving, the google document was automatically typing every word that I said so that I could come back to it and edit it later. (If you decide to give this a try, just be sure to turn off your GPS!)
So many believe there is a book inside of them
So many people believe that they have a book inside of them but very few actually ever put it to paper. Time and lifes commitments leave little free time. My words of encouragement would be that everyone has the same 24 hours in a day– it is just a matter of what you are going to do with that time. It is finding those 15 minutes a day, waking up an hour earlier, and starting your day with intention that will make a difference.
7 Key take-aways from the book
1. Give yourself permission to be whoever you are supposed to be.
I know that sounds trite and really simple. We spend so much time playing the roles that we think we are supposed to play. And that is great if it feels comfortable and if you are happy in that role. But remember that you have the option to change roles at any moment and it is ok too. Don’t spend your life living the way someone else told you to or based upon pre-determined stereotypes.
2. Find your tribe.
The person you are now is not necessarily the person that you will be in 5 years. And the people you think are the most important in your everyday life today may not be the same people that come along with you in the next stage. That is ok. Surround yourself with people who are supportive and encouraging of your dreams and goals.
3. Be a mentee instead of the mentor.
Stop talking and start listening. This is really hard. And the first part is to realize you are even doing this. You will learn so much from fully listening to what someone else has to say.
4. Juggle not balance.
I don’t believe in work life balance. It is a juggling act and we are just trying to keep all of the balls up in the air as much as possible. You don’t have to be in perfect balance with everything, but you have to do it with intention.
5. Stop filling in white space on your calendar.
Snuggling on the sofa with your husband or attending your child’s soccer games are important. Again, choose happy over perfect.
6. Creating your life backwards.
Goal setting is often difficult and very intimidating. At least it has always been for me. Creating your life backwards is all about taking big ideas or that final vision and then going backwards looking at all of the baby steps that you need to take and making small tweaks and adjustments along the way to get there.
7. Action is key.
Don’t wait to find your purpose. Act. Do something. We are not trees, we are not planted. If you are heading in one direction and find that this not exactly where you wanted to go, adjust, be flexible and open to change. It is allowed. Don’t be so set in your ways and thoughts.
What’s next for you, Wendy?
While my book has given me the avenue to impact people, which I absolutely love, I am very focused on my career as a Loan Officer with Academy Mortgage Corporation and continuing to build my dream team. I understand that buying a home is stressful for most people, there are a lot of moving parts. The value that I bring to my clients and the goal that I have for my team is to make things as easy and simple for our clients as possible by providing constant communication and the best possible experience to get the clients and loan to closing smoothly. I don’t like surprises and I don’t want that for my clients either.
What many people don’t know about Academy Mortgage and why we are different from the pack is because all of the people who make the final decisions for the loans on the East coast are here locally in Maryland. This is huge in my ability to advocate, communicate with the decision makers and close loans for my clients.
To learn more about Wendy and Academy Mortgage, visit https://academymortgage.com/lo/wendyelover
To learn more about Wendy’s charity: MDL Give A Book, which provides free personalized books to children at local Head Start Programs & Schools visit http://mdlgiveabook.wixsite.com/mdlgiveabook
Wendy’s upcoming events
Please join me. I am hosting a “Dreams in Motion Vision Board Workshop” on Jan 13th at my Academy Mortgage office in Hunt Valley (http://vbfun.eventbrite.com/) and I’m also hosting a “2018 Fast Start with LinkedIn Workshop” led by Mike Shelah of Mike Shelah Consulting on January 17th at my office too. (https://mikeshelahconsulting.ticketspice.com/2018-fast-start-with-linkedin-workshop)